The House Call (Love & Fear)
It was quite some time after knocking that Love could hear the sounds of someone turning down a ball game on the television and then working to get out of their chair and slowly shuffle to the front door. When it finally did open and their eyes met, it was clear that Love was not who Fear was expecting, or hoping to see. Fear, a crass and crusty old man, very round and disheveled in soiled sweat pants and a severely stained tank top, turned around while muttering something under his breath, leaving Love standing in the open doorway. “Hello? May I come in?” Fear stopped and looked back over his shoulder. “It’s your house. You sure as hell don’t need my permission.” Love winced and covered her nose while walking into the front room that was full of dirty plates, pizza boxes, and other random items that had not been touched in far too long. “It’s good to see you haven’t lost your charm after all these years.” laughed Love while Fear snorted and struggled to sit back down in his over stuffed wing back chair. Fear looked up and grimaced. “Why did you make me wait so damn long?” Love silently moved a pile of clothes and took a seat on the couch to the right of Fear while politely listening to his belly aching. “Are you really asking for me to pity you in this situation?” Fear looked at Love while shaking his head. “What about me? All this work and I’m just a fat old man with nowhere to live!” Love sat forward on the couch and locked eyes with Fear. “It’s time for you to take your foot off of the neck of humanity and slink back to where you came from.”
Fear broke their gaze and continued to shake his head. “Go back to where I’m from? Where else would I live but the human heart? People invite me to sit with them. They cannot imagine an existence without me warning and keeping them safe. They are the ones who willingly put the back of their necks under my boot.” Love looked around the sad and stale room. “You have no right to judge anyone. The difficulties and devastations people face during their lives cannot be so easily understood or summed up by you, or them. As I have mentioned to both of your sons and your wife, humanity does learn a great deal from the lot of you, but don’t confuse that with your own self-importance. No one owes you a thing.”
Slowly sitting forward in his chair Fear boastfully blurted out: “There is no such thing as humanity without their fears tucking them in at night and greeting them when they wake. I am their greatest motivator, foe and friend. I am the one constant in their lives, and they would never realize their potential without me.” Love stood to her feet and in front of Fear. “You are the one constant in their lives? It sounds like you have been telling so many lies for so long that you’re starting to believe them too. You don’t hope to help anyone. Your goals are depression and hopelessness, and you take an abundance of pleasure in their pain.”
Fear sat back and his chin began to spasm as he held back tears. “Pain? You speak to me of pain? What is more painful than slowly watching my body break down and knowing there is nothing I can do about it? It is terrifying getting old! We are preyed upon by our families, health workers, and even random strangers! Whatever abilities we had to care for ourselves or make money has all but left us, and yet there are more bills and they continue to grow! Relationships become less meaningful and worse yet, harder to come by. The pain of loss that awaits us all is not the worst of it either. It’s the silent and soul crushing loneliness that is the true terror. Being deemed irrelevant and left alone to whither away and silently die on the vine.”
Once again backing into his chair, Fear pulled a blanket up over his lap pitifully wiping away the moisture from his cheeks. Love stooped low in front of Fear to get them eye to eye. “The fact you choose to sit here and watch television in your stink and squalor, feeling sorry for yourself is up to you. There is a whole world of wonderful people that you make it impossible to meet or talk to unless they are delivering you food. There are those who would laugh and cry with you and share the burdens of this life and make what is a nightmare into a golden age of sharing and inclusion. You shut yourself away before you have any chance of meeting or making a friend of any kind. You shun love itself by sitting here alone and refusing all help and hope, and the quality of your life reflects it. Getting angry and yelling at you would be like punching a pile of shit, and there’s no peace or wisdom in that.” Love said looking away from Fear for a moment. “What about me?” squealed Fear again. “What about you? You will let humanity have a chance at a peaceful and prosperous existence without your silly and stupid lies. Past that I don’t care if you stay here and become another stain among all this filth.” Love quipped while quickly while making her way to the front door, and passed through it without any noise or hesitation. She stopped once outside and took in a long deliberate breath of clean fresh air then smiled and walked on.
To see the three other installments in this series click the links below: